Plans

I've recently been giving some attention to the question of what really matters in this life. Now, I'm not just trying to add a few more lines to the already extensive work composed on how no one could ever truly find a profound and lasting sense of happiness in material and temporal things like wealth, romance, substances, a successful career, or the like. Of course, all of those subjects are, at the very least, a proper subset of what I'm trying to address. But it's not often that people commit a sin of this nature in such a typical and obvious form; it's more commonly (I think) an issue which is of the heart, and not simply defined by our corresponding actions. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm still relatively young, which means that I still have a number of decisions in my future, some which my culture considers to be of utmost significance, e.g., whom to marry, where to work, etc.. As I'm contemplating these decisions, it's hard to know where to begin. Do I finish my graduate degree in physics? After that, do I try to apply for a postdoctoral position somewhere? Do I find a school to teach at, or a place to get that degree in philosophy I've been coveting for awhile? Do I get an M.Div and become a pastor? Or something wholly unrelated to the academic field entirely? Should I drop everything and become a missionary? Should I consider raising a family? Getting married, settling down and leading a "normal life" (whatever that is)?
As a man, these questions are closely linked to my sense of identity. They are, moreover, all expressions of one fundamental question: when I stand before Christ at the end of my life, what will He say? Will He look at me, with a sparkle in His eyes, "Well done, good and faithful slave You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master" (Matthew 25:21, NASB)? Or will He look at me with a compassionate disappointment that acknowledges my successes in His name, and quietly forgives my consistent failure to seek His leading for my life?
From the way I've organized my thoughts, it's probably clear how I want to address that question. Whether or not I ever have this hypothetical conversation with my Lord, I know that the essence of His response would be a direct measure of the extent to which He was in control of my life. That is to say, I cannot hope to attain genuine fulfillment by finding the right combination of romance, economic success and power; I also can't hope to attain it by giving of myself to every conceivable charitable cause and well-intentioned ministry. I can't afford to face the manifold decisions that afflict young people like myself today as though I could hope to make the right choice in every instance, or as if the outcome of those choices could in any way offer validity to the steps that I took to making them.
What I'm trying to say is this: success cannot be defined in terms of what I do, but only in terms of what I allow the Lord to do through me. It's here that we find the correct understanding of one's identity, for only here can what makes life worth living be unconditionally identified as the One who gave me the life to live in the first place. Whether it means a life spent hunched over a desk, pushing pencil against paper to explore the implications of theoretical physics in some specific application, or one which is used to bring countless souls to Christ, it can hardly be judged a success or a failure apart from the answer to the question, did I put Jesus Christ first in every area of my life?
Maybe you're twiddling your thumbs right now. You're trying to decide if you should go to college, or if you should become an artist, writer, scientist, teacher...should you get married? Maybe you've been out of college for a while, but don't feel that your life is headed in any one, particularly dramatic direction. Maybe you feel as though you're just spinning your wheels.
And that's okay. Jesus never promised drama or the limelight. He never said that yours would become a household name, like that of Mother Theresa or Billy Graham. But He did promise, "to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and ^N)">immortality, eternal life" (Romans 2:7, NASB). Don't feel as though you've got to measure the worth of your life in terms of how much you've accomplished for the kingdom of God; every day which is lived for the love of the Father, in the strength of Christ and by the leading of the Holy Spirit is all that you can (or should) think of as success.
Success is not simply avoiding the vices and idols of this present age, but it is also not placing virtue and charity above all else. Success exists always and only in the life of one who is fully surrendered to Christ. Are you surrendered? If you are, congratulations, for great is your reward in heaven. Press on, fight the good fight, and be faithful where the Lord has placed you. That's what really matters.